Reformed Episcopal? What's that?

If you are a member of the Reformed Episcopal Church it is common that no one will have even heard of your denomination. Some hear the word "Episcopal" and immediately assume you are a liberal. Some hear the word "Reformed" and wonder if you are really a Presbyterian. In any case, it can be confusing. I tend to say, when asked, that I'm a member of a small conservative "Anglican" denomination called the Reformed Episcopal Church. Most people have no idea what "Anglican" is, so this tends to diffuse any potential misunderstandings.

Aparently the early Reformed Episcopal Bishops had a similar problem. They dealt with it through pamphets like this one.

Father Hunger by Doug Wilson. An outline.

Below is an outline of Doug Wilson's book "Father Hunger". Overall a very good book, full of wisdom gleaned from a lifetime of practice and church leadership. One of the guys at our book study noted that this would be a very good introductory book to Wilson's work. He gleans from his other books to give a broad overview, quoting himself often. I especially appreciated the focus on the foundation that God's Fatherhood is the basis for Fatherhood in the world.

Chapter 1: First Words

I.                    Sets the foundation for the book from Matthew 3:16-17, the Baptism of Jesus.

a.       Wilson states that this is the archetypical Father-Son moment.

b.      This implies that we learn about Fatherhood here by catching a glimpse of the ultimate Fatherhood of God.

II.                 What 6 things does Wilson bring out from this passage in relation to Fatherhood.

a.       The Father was there.

b.      The Father made His presence felt by sending the Spirit.

c.       The Father made His presence known by speaking

d.      In speaking the Father identified with the Son, “this is My Son”.

e.       In speaking the Father expressed is love for the Son, “this is my beloved Son.”

f.        The Father expressed His pleasure in the Son: “Well pleased”. The Father said that the Son was doing a good job.

III.               Wilson states that the keynote here is “pleasure”.

a.       If the note of “well pleased” is not met, then things go wrong.

b.      How many grown men are still trying to please their fathers?

IV.              Wilson states that our notions of Fatherhood are broken, and so that results in the brokenness we see around us, not the other way around.

V.                 What does Wilson mean by saying many Christians are “emotional atheists”.

a.       “We may hold onto orthodox ideas about the Father, but our hearts disconnect, our affection cools; we just don’t trust him”.

VI.              What is the good news in all of this for those who are in Christ?

VII.            What I wish he would have added to Chapter One.

a.       To try and use this book to determine a set of steps required to become a good “Father”, is a categorical mistake. Reformation recovered that good works flow from Grace, not the other way around. To try and find God’s goodness in fatherhood through works is to mix this all up. We are to do all things by Faith.

b.      To take our model of Fatherhood from the fatherhood of God is a call to turn to that perfect, sinless fatherhood.

c.       God is working with a big bunch of screw-ups, but His Gospel promises change that we can’t work for.

d.      Study of this book should drive us to Gospel and not Law and Faith not works, but the Faith we want is a living and working Faith.

e.       Some of the topics in the book will be a pat on the back. Some will be a punch in the teeth. Both from God are Grace.

Chapter 2: What are Fathers for?

I.                    Wilson begins by addressing problems created by egalitarianism.

a.       In what sense are we all truly equal (Galatians 3:28)? Ontological equality. Equality before God in Salvation.

b.      Wilson states that if people are different you need to treat them differently to get them into the same equality zone.

                                                               i.      This is a statement of purpose of design – e.g. tools.

                                                             ii.      Men and women were designed for different roles, done together for the same purpose.

c.       God’s design is one of diversity, with each kind for its purpose.

                                                               i.      This means that a man’s identity is supposed to be wrapped up in Fatherhood.

                                                             ii.      It is not random or arbitrary.

                                                            iii.      Why does egalitarianism create so many problems? Examples?

1.      Women in combat, women in clergy roles,

II.                 Next he answers the question in the chapter title.

a.       The role of a father is that of a PROVIDER and PROTECTOR.

                                                               i.      Wilson uses Genesis 2:15 as basis for this. What is the role of women from Genesis 2?

                                                             ii.      What is needed for this role is designed “all the way through and all the way down”.

                                                            iii.      Wilson says that if fatherhood has a point, we should “consult the manual”.

                                                           iv.      Wilson says that “point” extends into everything. What do you think that means?

b.      Egalitarianism looks at this as “unfair”.

                                                               i.      How does Wilson answer this charge?

1.      He states that in one sense it is not fair, but good.

2.      relates to his points about treating different things the same and the design of God.

                                                             ii.      “Part of the goodness is that women submit to their own husbands and not to men in general”.

1.      A textured society results. (some men and women are better than others)

                                                            iii.      The diversity of God’s creation is to His glory.

1.      True glory is accepting the assigned place in humility.

2.      Problems result when men neglect the assigned role.

III.               Next Wilson looks at the generational importance of fathers.

a.       He describes generations as a river. Why do we see it as a series of ponds?

                                                               i.      We can’t see upstream or downstream. The result, we have to trust God in this.

                                                             ii.      Trust and Obey, believe God and trust the consequences to Him.

                                                            iii.      Psalm 103. God knows our frame and life is fleeting, but God makes promises that are to our children’s children.

                                                           iv.      God promises downstream blessings for keeping covenant with Him.

                                                             v.      The coming of Christ (as indicated by Mary’s song) is when these promises really kick in!

                                                           vi.      The promises are not automatic. We believe God for our children, we don’t believe in our children.

                                                          vii.      We are not to make an idol out of the family, we place God first. (Matthew 6:33, Luke 12:31).

b.      Repenting of unfaithful fathers

                                                               i.      Psalm 78 is the text. Faithful children will follow the good example and not the bad one. They were to hope in God and not be like their fathers.

                                                             ii.      Ezekiel 20:18.

                                                            iii.      Faithful fathering has unseen promises of blessing.

Chapter 3: A Culture of Absenteeism

I.                    Wilson ends chapter two with the a reminder that if fathers are to be like God the Father, they have to be present. Chapter 3 begins a discussion of our “fatherless” times.

a.       This fatherlessness can occur with dad is in the home often, but is checked out or doesn’t even know what is expected of him.

II.                 Quickly Wilson moves from this to the promise brought through John the Baptist as the new Elijah from Malachi 4:5-6.

a.       Promise and curse are seen.

b.      The new Elijah’s role was to “turn the hearts of the fathers to the children and the hearts of the children to the fathers”.

c.       John brings this about by declaring a message of repentance and a new kingdom.

d.      This is more than individual, it involves God’s Kingdom.

e.       It is a call to die so that God can raise again to life.

f.        We are to seek first the kingdom of God, and all these things will be added to us.

g.       The fact that all these things have not been added to us reveals our attitude to God the Father.

h.       Men must seek to be Christians first. A man’s wife and kids receive far more love if they are #2.

III.               Two kinds of Authority

a.       Authority of Office and Spiritual Authority.

                                                               i.      Wilson uses a Checkbook analogy.

IV.              Centrality of Worship

a.       Wilson says that “the culture of absenteeism that we see around us is a function of how we worship”. How do you take that?

                                                               i.      Returning to proper worship is then the primary step to ending fatherlessness.

b.      “Idolatrous worship yields idolatrous culture….Worship of the right God on paper will result in paper-thin Christian cultures…”

c.       Wilson connects the Lord’s Prayer to worship in the petition, “Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven”.

                                                               i.      Not simply a request for obedience, but a call for our worship to be spread down.

                                                             ii.      True worship will reveal the malady of fatherlessness everywhere and will need to be met with a true and Evangelical Faith.

V.                 Fatherhood of God reflected in human fatherhood.

a.       Western Trinitarian thought is essential here, showing the power of the love of a father.

b.      God allows us to share in His name “father”. Good quote from CS Lewis for “steadying”.

c.       If we hope for our children to pray the Lord’s Prayer and say “Our Father”, the meaning of the term “father” will have impact.

d.      We are built to learn by imitation. How we ARE is how we father.

                                                               i.      There is hope for those who have suffered the lack of a good father in the Father.

                                                             ii.      “In the Gospel, the fatherless no longer are.”

e.       Even once the central issue has been addressed, the practical matters of how to this is expressed need to be taught. We imitate what we see.

                                                               i.      The lack of good examples can be addressed through books.

Chapter 4: Masculinity False and True

        I.      Wilson begins to stress the need for a true, biblical masculinity.

a.       A biblical masculinity begins with “getting things right in the heart”, but always has expression.

                                                         i.      Matthew 23:25-26. Jesus speaks of cleaning the inside of the cup first SO THAT the outside will be clean.

                                                       ii.      Wilson says that culture has authority to assign roles. Boys and men who embrace their masculinity will gladly assume some of them.

                                                      iii.      Wilson says that have lost the heart of masculinity and all we have are a few residual badges which are being abandoned. He mentions opening car doors and women in combat as ways in which the abandoning of the “heart” of the matter has left the cultural badges to ridicule.

                                                     iv.      Wilson states that real fathers need to be (biblically) masculine. This is the where he is headed and why feminism is the enemy of fatherhood.

b.      Next Wilson addresses a false understanding of masculinity.

                                                         i.      It is not swagger, bossing wife around, or simply having male parts.

                                                       ii.      On the opposite side it is not “metrosexual”.

c.       Wilson reminds us that God is masculine, but not male. We speak of God as male because He told us to.

d.      Traces of God’s masculinity have been bestowed on us. A father partakes of fatherhood in some mysterious way.

                                                         i.      Wilson uses Ephesians 3:14-16, where Paul states that every family derives its name, or its fatherhood from the Father. A family is named a patria.

e.       Wilson says that “men and women together” bear the image of God. He doesn’t state it here, but means that together they bear the Image of God in a way they don’t apart.

f.        The biblical faith, opposed to the pagan world, is masculine!

     II.      Next Wilson works to define what true masculinity is.

a.       The definition he uses is, “the glad assumption of sacrificial responsibility.”

                                                         i.      Masculinity has an inner toughness, bounded by law.

                                                       ii.      Masculinity is authoritative because it takes responsibility for sacrificial service.

b.      Wilson describes how men are called to the masculine role, which involves headship.

                                                         i.      Headship and submission do not equate to inequality. (Trinity)

                                                       ii.      Headship and authority do not equate to bossing everyone around.

                                                      iii.      Important: “Feminism is therefore, at its root, a Trinitarian heresy.”

c.       Following Jesus, authority knows how to bleed for others. “Jesus took the rap for things He didn’t do – that’s the model we are to live out.”

                                                         i.      Wilson does not intend to turn this into “submit to each other” language. What does he mean then?

                                                       ii.      A sacrificial authority doesn’t look for its own benefit, but it is still an authority!

d.      Biblical masculinity is a miracle of divine grace.

Chapter 5: Atheism Starts at Home

        I.      Wilson begins by describing the “militant atheism” as the vanguard of fatherlessness.

a.       These men were shaped by it and want to shape more of it.

b.      These Atheists see the Fatherhood of God as oppressive.

                                                         i.      Wilson ties this to the abandonment of the doctrine of the Trinity.

                                                       ii.      “God is love” means God the Father love the Son, the Son loves the Father, and the Spirit is the Spirit of that love, Himself an infinite third. (filioque).

                                                      iii.      The move toward Unitarianism is the foundation of Atheism.

c.       The Atheist hates God for leaving and acknowledges we left Him first. “sin doesn’t make sense”

     II.      Fathers as Theological Primer – Wilson states that God intends for children to leave of His Fatherhood from the analogy of the family first.

a.       This means that fathers are constantly speaking about God the Father – either telling the truth or telling lies.

b.      Children are not empty receptacles though – sin is at work and fathers need to respond to that as well.

c.       Fathers need to learn to be strict where God is strict and merciful where He is merciful.

d.      The Atheist (from Romans 1:21) suppress the fact that God is God and the necessity of giving Him thanks.

                                                         i.      In response we should embrace and exult the sovereignty of God over all things and live lives of overflowing gratitude to Him for all things. (pg 56).

   III.      The problem of evil. Wilson has an aside section here where he explains how a Christian can respond with thanksgiving in a world where evil exists. The central point in the cross.

a.       Wilson uses two stories from the bible that occur at Siloam. Both are cases of Jesus correcting misinterpreted natural evil.

                                                         i.      This is a warning to us when we try and interpret evils.

                                                       ii.      Amos 3:6 should always be in mind.

b.      The two stories are of the tower of Siloam and the blind man whose sight was restored.

                                                         i.      We know that God ordains whatsoever comes to pass, but in a way that does not diminish the responsibility of man.

                                                       ii.      We don’t always know the reason for evil, but we know that God chose to send Jesus smack in the middle of it. So, “suffering has a point.”

                                                      iii.      The tower testified to the coming judgment, the blind man testified to the gift of sight, or the release from the coming judgment. Both are praiseworthy toward God.

  IV.      Wilson then moves to the kinds of Thanksgiving that should be shown by Christians.

a.       The first he calls “harvest home” thanksgiving. This is God’s common grace and is thanksgiving for gifts that have been received.

b.      The second he calls “thanksgiving by faith”. This is thanksgiving offered for what God will do in the future.

c.       Ephesians 5:1-14.

                                                         i.      Walk in love, avoid immorality, give ourselves to thanks, celebrate the coming wrath of God, show the world what God likes, etc.

d.      Ephesians 5:19 – because the days are evil, we must be filled with the Spirit, singing Psalms, Hymns, and spiritual songs. Our hearts should be filled with music.

e.       Wilson makes the point that our guard against this Atheism is a father who overflows with gratitude.

Chapter 6: The Education Axle

        I.      In this chapter Wilson discusses the importance of a Christian education and worldview. This chapter begins a more broad application of fatherhood beyond just biological fathers.

a.       Wilson makes the point that education is more than data transfer, it involves the entire child.

b.      Wilson cites Ephesians 6:4 and brings out two critical things

                                                         i.      This verse requires Christian education for Christian children

                                                       ii.      This verse puts the responsibility of this education on the fathers.

c.       Paideia is an all encompassing process designed to accomplish the successful enculturation of the student.

                                                         i.      Paideia requires a Christian culture, which means it is our obligation to build one.

                                                       ii.      Fathers are, therefore, guardians of culture. Does this apply to men of all ages and stages of life?

                                                      iii.      A father is responsible to lead his children in a way that helps them think biblically about everything.

                                                     iv.      What about “fathers” in the church here?

     II.      The Great Commandment – Here Wilson begins a section rooted in the exposition of Deuteronomy 6:1-12. Jesus quotes from this passage, but adds that we are to also love God with our minds.

a.       Again, this passage gives men the responsibility of education.

b.      Wilson makes the point that when men take the lead in the education of their children you will find a high degree of appreciative involvement from the women. When women are left holding the bag you find stress, burnout, and frustration. Pg 69.

c.       Wilson uses Matthew 22:18-21 (render unto Caesar what is Caesar’s) to make the point that the little images of God we have shouldn’t be sent to Caesar.

d.      Education if fundamentally a religious activity. The question is only, “what religion is it teaching?” 1 John 5:21 (stay away from idols)

   III.      Christ the Axle – Since education should be all encompassing, Wilson moves to describe a Biblical worldview.

a.       He says that a worldview has 4 “spokes”. There are 2 propositional spokes and two enacted spokes.

                                                         i.      Catechesis – The propositional spoke that answers the questions.

                                                       ii.      Narrative – the propositional spoke that tells the story (where are you going, and how did you get here?)

                                                      iii.      Lifestyle – the enacted spoke that is your day-to-day customs, including fruits of the Spirit.

                                                     iv.      Symbolism/Ritual – the enacted spoke that is the non-verbal communication of the content of the worldview (crosses on steeples, wedding rings, etc).

b.      Wilson states that worldviews are inescapable, which means that if Fathers don’t do it, then someone will.

c.       Abraham Kuyper – “There is not a square inch in the whole domain of our human existence over which Christ, who is Sovereign over all, does not cry: Mine!”

d.      Wilson: ”When children are growing up in a healthy way the boys will want to be like their fathers and the girls will want to be the sort of women that men like their fathers would want to be with.”

Chapter 7: Small Father, Big Brother

        I.      The abortion of the family. In this chapter Wilson discusses the political and social implications of fatherlessness, especially how that relates to the growing oppression of the state.

a.       Wilson points out one of the side-effects of Roe vs. Wade is that fathers are now irrelevant in the eyes of the state with regards to the life of their unborn children.

b.      Contrasted to this is the biblical idea of celebration of a wife’s loveliness in fertility.

c.       The reduction of men to irrelevant status aids the oppressive state.

     II.      The Problem of Men. Wilson moves to arguing that men need the stability of family in order to control their sinful tendencies.

a.        “Civilization depends on getting men to submit their sexual “Freebird” ethic to a far more stable feminine sexuality.”

b.      Man was actually created for this civilization, but our rebellion has broken this urge.

c.       The state is pushing this sexual freedom, and Wilson asks, “why?”

                                                         i.      The more men act badly, the more obvious it is that the state must restrain them. The more they are restrained by force, the more power the state has.

                                                       ii.      Wilson states that a society made up of individuals is more easily controlled than a society made up of families.

                                                      iii.      “GK Chesterton says that free love, sexual laxity, is the first and most obvious bribe that can be offered to a slave”

                                                     iv.      Chesterton (pg 81-82) describes the power structure in the family as head and heart, meaning that the family rests on love and not coercion.

d.      God established three governments among men. All three will fall apart without self-government.

                                                         i.      Family – Adam and Eve

                                                       ii.      Civil Magistrate (Romans 13:1-2)

                                                      iii.      Church (Ephesians 4:11-12).

   III.      Targeted Fathers – The state deliberately targets fathers

a.       Wilson argues that manhood has a point. When a man picks up that responsibility he becomes a pillar in family, church, and community. He will also find himself in conflict with those who profit from male irresponsibility.

b.      You get more of what you subsidize – Wilson uses the example of unwed mothers.

c.       Wilson calls us to “act, not react”. This means thinking biblically.

  IV.      Civic Fatherlessness – Wilson moves to contrast reaction to action, showing we do still need Fathers in the state.

a.       Wilson calls hard libertarianism and anarchism as civic fatherlessness.

                                                         i.      We shouldn’t seek the destruction of the state, only its return to its proper place. Only its redemption.

b.      Related to this is the honor that adult children owe their fathers and mothers.

                                                         i.      Little children show this honor through obedience.

                                                       ii.      Adult children show this honor partially through financial support. What does that do to the state power?

c.       Wilson makes the point that we still honor the state, in spite of its sinful pride and overreaching.

d.      We should pray for the days when rulers support the church, not for them to “get theirs”.

e.       “liberty is to be defined by God and not by what irritates me.”

f.        Christendom 2.0, or mere Christendom, = all three governments back in balance.

Chapter 8: Escaping the Pointy-Haired Boss

        I.      Free Men, Free Markets. In this chapter Wilson addresses a man’s work and the balance required. He begins by claiming that we do not have markets that are truly free.

a.       Wilson says that the attempts of corporate America to separate men from their families is both perverse and deliberate.

b.      Wilson compares three economic models.

                                                         i.      Crony Capitalism – what we have now where the government helps the “Daddy Warbucks” be successful and the average man is stuck in a Dilbert cubicle.

                                                       ii.      Distributism – Chesterton’s idea that the means of production need to be distributed as much as possible. Many Christians react in this way and retreat from society to a hobby farm.

                                                      iii.      Free market capitalism – Where the regulations are just enough to guarantee fair competition and opportunity.

c.       Wilson notes that modern technology is opening some of those free market doors. The implication is that Christian men shouldn’t feel forced into cubes and long commutes.

d.      Wilson says that God is a distributist, but only if he is the one doing the distributing. This is Adam Smith’s “invisible hand”.

     II.      The Economic Liberation of Fathers. Wilson argues that economic liberation is needed for fathers, and so fathers should vote and pray for this.

a.       Wilson says, “men who earn their own livings and who refuse to take money that was extorted from others at the point of the tax collector’s gun are men who are the only basis of a free society”.

b.      He is arguing this from the basis of masculinity – sacrificial responsibility.

   III.      Work as Calling. Next Wilson moves to the reformational understanding of vocation.

a.       The reformation recovered the doctrine of vocation, but we have nearly lost it now, restoring two “holiness” layers of occupations.

b.      Wilson quotes Exodus 31:1-5 where Bezalel is said to be filled with the Holy Spirit (the first time this happens). The filling results in skilled labor.

c.       The Latin “Vocare” means “to call”. Vocation is a Holy Calling.

d.      Christ is to be thought of as hidden in all work from both the giving and receiving end.

                                                         i.      God provides for us through the means of the vocations of others as well as our own.

                                                       ii.      Christ receives from us through vocations. (cup of cold water…)

e.       Christian vocation is not necessarily done differently from non-Christian, but it is understood.

f.        A Christian man’s vocation is varied with all the vocations he has in life.

                                                         i.      Wilson puts in his plug for liberal arts and classical education as the foundation for varied vocations.

g.       Christian vocation needs to be mindful of God’s revealed will, but after that Wilson gives three criteria.

                                                         i.      Our abilities

                                                       ii.      Our opportunities

                                                      iii.      Our desires. Proverbs 16:9, “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps”.

  IV.      Holy Ambition. Related to vocation, Wilson discusses ambition in its proper form.

a.       Godly ambition, Wilson compares to how Eric Liddell ran – in a way in which he felt God’s pleasure.

                                                         i.      First step is to stop waiting for others to give you a job. Second step is to recover the concept of vocation. Third step is to become ambitious in that vocation – Proverbs 22:29.

b.      Everyone seeks happiness, so it is a question of what makes you happy. Desire in itself is not evil.

                                                         i.      “A man must want a vocation that serves his family in a way that honors God….”

c.       James 3:13-16 – Selfish ambition is sinful.

                                                         i.      Our ambitions need to be converted the same way as the rest of a man is – through the death, burial, and resurrection of Christ.

                                                       ii.      We will be open to God’s timing and delays.

d.      A father can’t just provide bread he also has to provide an example of living like a Christian, resisting attempts to press him into corporate America’s mold.

Chapter 9: Poverty and Crime at the head of the table

I.                    Fight Crime, Get Married. In this chapter Wilson begins with the economic and social ramifications of fatherlessness, including the having men running around without responsibility. He will move from this to application toward the end of the chapter. This section is dominated by statistical data.

a.       Wilson sites that there are somewhere around 20 million kids growing up in single-parent homes, overwhelmingly these have no father. Since this is not in keeping with God’s creational design, the impact on those kids will be enormous.

b.      Wilson makes the point that there are plenty of spiritual consequences to the breakdown of the family, but we should not be so pious as to leave out finances.

                                                               i.      One of the first results is 2.3 million adults in prison. The rest of us pay for that.

                                                             ii.      Fragmented families are more likely to produce children with a host of problems. PG 111

                                                            iii.      Estimates $112 billion each year as a result of family fragmentation.

c.       Wilson states that we tend to veer off to “sexy” theories for our social problems. He uses the example (maybe not the best one) of vaccines and Autism and asks if we should look into daycare as the cause.

                                                               i.      His point is that we want to find the answer to the problems in something other than our selfish behavior. We want it to be something that we can’t be blamed for.

d.      “Because we have refused to listen to what God says, we have ‘cast off restraint”. Proverbs 29:18.

II.                 Made to Work. In the next section Wilson goes into the creational design of men and the need to call them back to this.

a.       Wilson notes that our society is crime-riddled and that some like to link the crime and poverty to race. The real correlation is with singleness and sex – namely unmarried males.

                                                               i.      “The state is an incompetent father, and the children of the state have spiraled completely out of control”.

                                                             ii.      “When you mess your kids up, it messes tem up, and father hunger is a great social problem. It is not just a personal problem…”

b.      Wilson notes that the “father needs” of a boy can be met by a gang leader better than the government.

c.       “Masculinity thrives on the right kind of discipline, but masculinity also kicks at it. Masculinity thrives on the right kind of work, but it can also be lazy.”

                                                               i.      Wilson uses the example of the problem child who excels in the marines.

d.      Wilson states that men were built “for a fight”, “for discipline”, “for hard work”, “to overcome the dragon”. The footnotes are very good. PG227-8

                                                               i.      If someone tries to make them work, they will find it hard work.

                                                             ii.      Perseverance is essential because everything will depend on it.

e.       The observation that a “job well done” has a deep satisfaction is evidence that we were made for work.

f.        A man doesn’t easily pick up his creational duties for work and protection and a woman is typically required.

g.       “A man who takes a woman to the altar is going there to die to himself. But that is all right because it is not good for man to be alone.”

III.               Find Out What Her Name Is and Propose. In this last section of the chapter Wilson moves into more from the statement of the problem and follows up on part of the solution given in the previous section – Christian Marriage. The application will be the need to prepare children for this.

a.       Most men do not have the gift of celibacy.

b.      “Men will not take up masculine responsibilities that a woman brings unless God raises up leaders for these men, leaders who will get up in their grill about it”

c.       Wilson proves the usefulness of generalizations from Jesus and the Pharisees and Paul and the Cretans.

                                                               i.      Wilson states that there is almost no way to lead men away from self-destructive habits and laziness (along with other things) without leading them to a woman.

                                                             ii.      Almost all men need to marry before they are entirely responsible adults. Humanly speaking you can’t get masculinity without femininity.

                                                            iii.      Aside: Fathers have a responsibility for the purity of their daughters (Deuteronomy 22:20) and to help their daughters find a suitable husband. This may mean training one for her yourself!

d.      Singleness is an evangelical idol. We should repent of this sin of our fathers.

                                                               i.      God already said “it is not good for man to be alone”.

e.       Through the rest of the chapter Wilson describes some of the process of preparing a son for being a husband.

                                                               i.      Discipline must begin early and be followed by a relaxation of rules. This means the must love the standard. This is the opposite of what most do.

                                                             ii.      Boys must be taught toughness and self-control when young.

                                                            iii.      External discipline should be considerable when young, then gradually lifted over time.

                                                           iv.      You are not preparing a son for autonomy, but for marriage. The goal is emancipation.

                                                             v.      God can meet us where we are, and not where we should have been.

Chapter 10: Church Fathers, HA

I.                    In this chapter Wilson seeks to address the problem of the lack of masculinity in the leadership and ethos of the church. Since all of the problems of effeminacy in the church should be rightly placed at the feet of the “fathers” of the church, that’s where he starts.

a.       Wilson opens by saying that one of the fundamental qualifications for church leadership is that the men should “know what it means to be a father”.

b.      Wilson takes the qualifications of a Bishop/Elder from Paul’s letter to Timothy, quoting 1 Timothy 3:4-5.

c.       Within the church, the spiritual leaders are the “fathers” to their congregations.

                                                               i.      Where the bible requires that he demonstrate what a godly, effective father does in the home, we tend to require other things like graduate study (not that this is a bad requirement).

                                                             ii.      Wilson spends a few paragraphs proving that we can speak of ministers as “father”. Jesus forbade us to think of them as “mediators” in the same sense as He is.

d.       In 1 Corinthians 4:15-16, Paul refers to himself as the father of that church and urges the congregation to imitate him.

                                                               i.      “The reason we need fathers in the church is because there are lessons that cannot be learned unless we learn them by imitation.”

                                                             ii.      Wilson notes that Paul also sent Timothy, who was a dearly loved child, as an example for them.

                                                            iii.      Wilson states that churches need fathers, but we seem to have single moms instead.

e.       Paul requires that the church be governed by road-tested fathers. Do their children mind them? Do they conduct the household management tasks that fathers are called to undertake?

                                                               i.      Paul’s logic is plain – if you aren’t a good father at home, you won’t be one in the church either.

f.        Wilson states that the denial of this means that we will not get rid of Women’s ordination any time soon.

                                                               i.      The footnote on pg 228-9!

                                                             ii.      For SEVERAL CENTURIES we have exalted feminine virtues to the highest place in the church.

1.      Women are better at them.

                                                            iii.      Wilson reminds us that the prohibition against women’s ordination comes right before the list of qualifications for Bishops/Elders, meaning they are linked.

II.                 The Shack and Father Hunger. Wilson begins a section using a book by William Young (who is buddies with Baxter Kruger) called “The Shack”. This book is an example an attempt to deal with father hunger by adding more mothering to the equation.

a.       There are many problems with this book, but Wilson points out that God is represented as 2 women and a young man.

b.      The “feel” (Wilson says image, the metaphor) is one of warm, cozy, and maternal non-threatening and non-judging.

c.       The substitutionary atonement (and anything that displays God’s hatred of sin) are flatly rejected in this book.

d.      Wilson makes the point that this demonstrates the sinful response of the church, and individuals. We need a father, but we don’t want to need a father.

                                                               i.      The sin of fatherlessness is shared by both the fathers and the children.

                                                             ii.      Repentance should therefore go both ways, Malachi 4:5-6.

e.       “Ironically this is what is happening in the debate over the ordination of women. Why do so many want to ordain mothers? Because they need a father who will say no.

III.               Bodies Matter. Next Wilson uses another book, “Desiring the Kingdom” by K.A. Smith. Wilson uses this to show how worship has been feminized in the sense that it has no desire to change the world.

a.       He states that he likes much of the book, but that the book takes away what it tries to give. This is shown at one point in its allowance of and embracing of women’s ordination, which the bible forbids.

                                                               i.      Wilson makes the point that “bodies matter”.

                                                             ii.      Men and women have certain roles and responsibilities given and defined by God.

1.      This is why conservatives defend such things so strongly.

b.      We are called to engage the culture, as men. Wilson points out that John the Baptist got arrested for his attacking of Herod’s sex life.

c.       “We have anemic worship now. We are successful at not changing anything now. Why go through a lot of fuss and bother to develop a form of worship that will also not change anything?”

IV.              Real Fathers in the Church. In this section Wilson returns to church fathers to give warnings to those in ministry.

a.       Wilson restates our need for masculine leaders in the church. “We need John Knox beards.” …”Real ministers really do need to be tough…”

b.      Wilson notes that ministers have a reputation of “ministerial milquetoastery”. Or that of a 3^rd sex.

                                                               i.      He states that this really isn’t that unfair. The “sweet boys” have been urged into the ministry by the church ladies for generations.

                                                             ii.      There are plenty of examples from books and movies of this stereotype – like the western parson.

c.       Wilson states that clerical dress will require a certain amount of masculine gravity to overcome this. Some who will imitate (fathers lead by imitation) will be “mousy little men standing chest deep in the pond of effeminacy.”

                                                               i.      He is not opposing clerical collars, just stating the problem that needs to be overcome.

                                                             ii.      The masculinity that needs to be brought should be a biblical one, not a secular culture one.

                                                            iii.      Wilson states that this is a deeply rooted problem that needs to be addressed at the root.

Chapter 11: Conflicted Feminism

I.                    The Nature of the World. This chapter is more random than any of the others, but it is generally building on the idea that we become what we worship. We live in an age that things all things evolved, and so we allow women to deny their created vocations and roles, only to leave them miserable in doing so.

a.       Wilson states that the evolutionary faith, at its core, believes hydrogen can change into anything, or that anything can morph into anything else.

                                                               i.      This, according to Wilson, is one of the basic pagan worldviews.

b.      If instead intelligent design is true, then a creator God engineered everything and left an “owner’s manual”.

c.       Wilson uses the example of an orange first eaten by Adam to point out that sexual roles are written into the design.

                                                               i.      If women try to convince themselves that this is not so, then it will still be so. Wilson uses the joke about calling a tail a leg to show his point.

                                                             ii.      Because these evolutionary assumption and sexual confusion are mixed with postmodernism, Wilson calls it “pomosexuality”.

d.      Psalm 115, you become what you worship. Since the culture worships evolutionary change, it is almost necessary that it morph into various “other” sexes.

                                                               i.      Good quote by G.K. Beale on pg 139. “It is not possible to be neutral on this issue: we either reflect the Creator or something in creation”.

                                                             ii.      Good quote from Peter Jones on pg 139. He is speaking of a new Gnosticism which seeks to be “free” of the creator.

e.       The changing of standards, according to Wilson, is too widespread to be anything but the changing of the gods.

II.                 The Father Who Does Not Change. Having shown what the god of evolutionary processes creates, Wilson now moves to focus more on what the God of scripture creates.

a.       “having removed ourselves from the worship of the Father, it is not long before we cannot tolerate even the presence of His likeness in others,”

b.      Quote from the Abolition of Man by CS Lewis: “men without chests”

c.       Wilson states that creational realities mean that women are more in touch with those realities that are within their own bodies.

                                                               i.      Women tend to get really exasperated with men who deny this, even if they are the ones who told the men to do so.

                                                             ii.      Questions of identity are foundational. Our created nature was given to us without our permission.

d.      Wilson points out the typical story line in romance novels, which are very popular. This shows that women, even when they say that want a softer, more feminine man don’t actually want that.

                                                               i.      “Feminism has demanded the formation of a certain kind of man and, having attained to that, we are discovering that feminists look down on this kind of man as much as everybody else throughout history has”.

                                                             ii.      “Lesbianism…has an internal logic”. A woman makes a much better softy.

e.       Wilson reminds us that the bible teaches that a woman submits to her own husband. This means that she is not subject to all the other men.

                                                               i.      We should not think of men and women as two horizontal lines, but two vertical ones with the male line slightly above the female.

                                                             ii.      Aside: My daughter will be trained to be high on the female vertical line. Most men should be intimidated by her.

                                                            iii.      Wilson uses the example of Ester, who through her submission to her husband had incredible power.

f.        When women adopt an unbiblical view of themselves they cannot understand God rightly. They cannot understand themselves or what they are supposed to be doing. This puts them in a continual state of exasperation with the men who refuse to contradict them.

                                                               i.      “evangelical” feminists can be poison to a woman’s acceptance and joy in feminine roles. By adding in guilt for not abandoning God’s roles for them, they confuse and frustrate women.

g.       God has cursed the marriage relationship in that women have a desire for mastery over their husbands. “The curse makes women want to lead their husbands, but when their husbands abdicate and let them do this, they don’t like that either”. The desire for the creational roles are still present, though frustrated by sin.

                                                               i.      Wilson uses the examples of books and magazines geared for different sexes to show where the relationships tend to go off.

                                                             ii.      Good quote by Rick Phillips on this. Pg 146.

III.               Fathers Give Bread. Much of this section reads like an attack on low carb diets, but his goal is to show that men are to be providers, or givers.

a.       To end the war between the sexes that resulted from the fall, God gets His way – not men and women.

                                                               i.      This means that women need to realize that, after men, feminism is their worst enemy.

                                                             ii.      Both sexes need to sort out their problems with God.

                                                            iii.      GK Chesterton: “Feminists are, as their name implies, opposed to anything feminine.”

                                                           iv.      “A woman cannot be at peace with God without being at peace with the man who, together with her, bears the image of God.

b.      In opposition to the wrong views of God, fathers are called to protect and bestow.

                                                               i.      This means that fathers want the good for their children. Fathers delight and sacrifice for them.

                                                             ii.      A good father will from time to time say “no” in order to give something better. This is not the default mode.

                                                            iii.      A good father will create lasting joy in his children.

c.       Wilson states that many Christians take away good things. Wilson talks about bread. Wilson believes weird food trends are a symptom of father hunger.

                                                               i.      When we loose God the Father we get weirdness in many places.

                                                             ii.      Perversions come easier to men. Wilson uses Romans 1:26 to show this (“even their women”).

Chapter 12: The Fruitful Father

I.                    The Politics of Fruitfulness. In this chapter Wilson shows the attack on what should be considered a blessing from God in the form of the destruction of fruitfulness. He begins with the political attack.

a.       Wilson names three aspects of the culture’s attack on fruitfulness.

                                                               i.      Propaganda of the environmentalists

                                                             ii.      The gay agenda

                                                            iii.      The ubiquity of porn.

b.      Part of the environmental attack is the idea of “overpopulation”.

                                                               i.      The more children you have the bigger your carbon footprint.

                                                             ii.      Wilson points out that from Proverbs 14:28 and 1 Chronicles that a prince is blessed with many people and that the men of Issachar “knew the times” and knew what to do.

                                                            iii.      We live in a time when fruitfulness is regarded with suspicion.

1.      “A man should not just beget children, he should defend what he has done.”

                                                           iv.      This does not mean we adopt a Roman Catholic view of contraception.

                                                             v.      The Bible is clear that the fruitfulness of children is a blessing. Psalm 127:3, "Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward." (Psalm 127:3, ESV)

1.      This doesn’t mean that large families are automatically a blessing. Wilson uses the example of Proverbs 10:5, a son sleeping through harvest.

                                                           vi.      Because the culture hates fruitfulness, it is a political act.

                                                          vii.      We could call overpopulation a shortage of workers

c.       Abortion and homosexuality are judgments that have fruitlessness associated with them. They have a debt to pay on the last day, but a heavy cost now too.

II.                 The Wrath of Sin. In this section Wilson explores homosexuality and porn as not only sin, but evidence of the wrath of God.

a.       Wilson sites Romans 1:26-32 as his text for this section.

                                                               i.      This text says that God “gave them up” to these vile affections. The existence of gay pride parades and homo-marriage is evidence that God is doing something to us.

                                                             ii.      Since God made us male and female to revolt against this via homosexuality and such is to attack the image we see in the mirror.

                                                            iii.      Homosexuality denies the obvious – that the parts don’t fit. A society that blesses homosexuality is one that has become blind to even the clear design of men and women.

                                                           iv.      “God judges in wrath by saying yes.”

b.      Wilson states that America is under judgment.

                                                               i.      We are a wash in consumer goods. We have gained the world and lost our souls (Matthew 16:26).

                                                             ii.      We have slaughtered more that 40 million of our own babies.

                                                            iii.      We sanctify sodomy.

                                                           iv.      To try and return to “good ole fashioned America” is to return to an idol. Instead we need repentance and the Lord Jesus.

c.       If fruitlessness via the green police and fruitlessness through unfertile unions doesn’t work, our society gives porn instead.

                                                               i.      This attempt to separate sex from fruitful unions is also poison.

                                                             ii.      The images in pornography can’t bear you children.

                                                            iii.      Men who pursue this don’t want to be fathers.

d.      Scripture frequently speaks of wickedness in terms of its fruitlessness.

                                                               i.      Wilson’s daughter, who has 6 kids, gives a good response to this wickedness on pg 163.

                                                             ii.      Sexual relations need to be tied in a general way to the possibilities of fatherhood in order to maintain the glory that God designed.

e.       “One of the best things a father can do to prevent his sons from drifting into immorality is to connect sex and fatherhood.”

Chapter 13: Some Father Mechanics

I.                    Obedience Therefore. In this chapter Wilson goes into some instruction as to how godly fathering looks on the ground. He starts in the first section with a distinction between ethics and the gospel, being and doing, faith and works. He is warning men not to detach the mechanics from the broader issues in the rest of the book.

a.       “The task before us is to bring up our children in such a way as to love the standard. This is not possible to do with externally driven rules. It is a function of loyalty, and loyalty is based on love and relationship.”

b.      Wilson quotes Proverbs 1:8-9, 3:1-4, 3:21-22, 6:20-22.

                                                               i.      First he wants to bring out the theme that instruction and law from parent to child should be worn as a grace.

                                                             ii.      Second that a young person should cultivate a heart that keeps his father’s commandments.

                                                            iii.      Third that a young person should take them up. They are a blessing.

c.       The sum of all of this is that “glad obedience is glorious.”

d.      Some worry that this turns young people into brain-dead clones. The truth is just the opposite.

                                                               i.      The Protestant Reformation did this once before with its catechisms. Good quote from Steven Ozment on page 168.

e.       Fathers must show children how this is done, which means it begins with their own fathers, not with their sons.

II.                 Loving the Standard. In this section Wilson unpacks what he means by “getting kids to love the standard”.

a.       If you cannot get the kids to love the standard, then lower the standard.

                                                               i.      This is not with regards to God’s rules, but house rules.

                                                             ii.      Wilson points out that this is actually raising the parental standard, which is why we don’t like it.

                                                            iii.      Fathers must embrace the task of communicating in a contagious way a love for the standard.

                                                           iv.      We shouldn’t shy away from this because it seems impossible. That teaches kids to do the same.

b.      “Apart from a context of love and loyalty, fatherly discipline is just clobbering a kid.”

c.       Wilson brings up the fact that balance is the hardest thing for us to maintain. We have a tendency to run off into one ditch or the other.

                                                               i.      A temptation is to think the laziness and apathy are grace and defensiveness when confronted with the law of God is zeal.

d.      Ephesians 6:1-4 summarizes the basics of Christian living within the family.

                                                               i.      When children are young, honor entails obedience. When they are grown it is shown in other ways.

                                                             ii.      Fathers are told not to exasperate their children to the point of wrath and anger, but instead bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

                                                            iii.      Nurture and Admonition excludes exasperation and vice versa.

                                                           iv.      Fathers should stop experimenting on their kids. “Kids are a concrete pour.” Fathers are to work in harmony with the nature of the child.

                                                             v.      Fathers are warned against provoking their children because it is a very easy thing to do in this world.

                                                           vi.      “The hallmark of whether or not a father is experimenting on his kids, as opposed to bringing them up in obedience, is how open he is to the idea of someone else actually measuring what he is doing.

III.               Discipline as Gift and Gratitude. In this section Wilson discusses discipline, or at least the foundations for it.

a.       A man should require discipline as a gift to his children, for their sakes. If he does not discipline at all, or does so for his own reasons, that is selfish.

b.      A thoughtful father should be convicted by this, and conviction is good. God is gracious and so we extend His grace.

c.       Wilson uses Ephesians 4:28 and 5:3-4 to show what sin in us and our children should be replaced with. In both cases we should fill it with thanksgiving. Biblical contentment is key.

d.      Biblical contentment is a deep satisfaction with the will of God for you.

e.       The contrast is not between dirty and clean, but dirty and grateful.

                                                               i.      The example is fighting the battle against ungodly entertainment. It shows a discontent in the child more than the need for “Christian” entertainment.

f.        “For a father to make rules for a discontent household is simply sweeping water uphill.”

g.       IMPORTANT: “When a child is disciplined, one of the ways you can tell if the home environment is what it ought to be is by whether or not the first instinct of the child is to turn back to his father for a restoration of fellowship.”

                                                               i.      If he doesn’t, then the discipline was just acute pain in the middle of a life of pain.

h.       “True discipline says no in a world full of yes.”

                                                               i.      Keeping it simple: “no disobeying, respect your mother”

IV.              Balance is Foundational. In this section Wilson tries to paint the picture of the balanced Christian father, one that avoids the ditches.

a.       Wilson brings out four basic temptations.

                                                               i.      A feeling of impotence and helplessness

                                                             ii.      A mistaken belief that indulgence is grace

                                                            iii.      A prideful desire to save face

                                                           iv.      A mistaken belief that an adversarial harshness and severity is law.

b.      With regards to the feeling of impotence, many parents will try and comfort themselves, or others, with the idea that they can not be held responsible.

                                                               i.      “This grief is the grief of shame.”

                                                             ii.      Proverbs 10:5, 17:2, 19:26.

c.       The hard words from scripture are not given to rub our noses in it, but to bring repentance and restoration.

                                                               i.      True repentance from fathers can’t come without them “owning it”. This is showing kids how it is done.

                                                             ii.      Hard truth is better than soft comfort.

d.      A father must reject the feeling of impotence or irrelevance.

                                                               i.      “America has been largely Oprahfied.” We think we can fix everything with a hug.

                                                             ii.      Grace contains law.

                                                            iii.      Eden contained one forbidden tree, not a garden of forbidden trees. Grace should be the larger context.

                                                           iv.      Wilson describes on pg 180 the problems that occur when a daughter thinks “dad is a sweetie pie”.

                                                             v.      “Children need fathers to be fathers.” “The limits are not set for their own sake (the fathers), but for the child’s sake.”

V.                 Holding Pride Under. In this section Wilson addresses the problem of pride, which prevents some fathers from finding the help they need.

a.       Making excuses for undisciplined children is often a symptom of pride. The father is trying to save face in front of others.

b.      The pride can be a barrier that prevents him from hearing what he needs to hear from others.

c.       Those who look on from the outside can often see that a child is pleading for someone to draw boundaries.

d.      A plea of ignorance on the part of the father doesn’t wash.

                                                               i.      If a son had cancer you would not be content with a short search for what to do. You would tireless search for answers and treatment. A son’s soul demands at least as much attention.

                                                             ii.      If the parents can’t find someone to help, then “They should move if they need to. They shouldn’t stop looking until they find someone.”

e.       Proper advice will likely be surprising. If it was obvious to you, you would have thought of it.

                                                               i.      Real help will likely result in mother and/or father being offended.

                                                             ii.      “The more prickly and offended you feel yourself getting, the more godly advice is probably getting warmer, warmer, warmer. So fight the temptation to take offence”

f.        Slipping into an adversarial role with your children creates adversaries in the home. This is the opposite of fellowship.

g.       “However much a child’s behavior is displeasing to him, a father has to come to grips with the fact that the behavior is something that, at some level, his father has required of him.”

                                                               i.      The first step is confession, not accusation.

h.       If the father’s disposition is negative, he becomes nothing but law to his kids.

                                                               i.      Law condemns and provokes sin (Romans 5:20)

                                                             ii.      “Gracious fathers lead their sons through the minefield of sin. Indulgent fathers watch their sons wander off into the minefield. Legal fathers chase them there.”

i.         Obedience is something that is caught, not taught. The son won’t get it if dad doesn’t.

                                                               i.      Using 1 Corinthians 4:14-17, Wilson makes the point that children are expected to follow by imitation.

                                                             ii.      “The Christian life is a way, and it is a way that must be copied if we are to understand it rightly.”

Chapter 14: Our Father

I.                    The Forgotten Father. In this chapter Wilson goes back to the truth that God’s fatherhood is the foundation for all fatherhood. He provides the ultimate definition of a Father.

a.       Wilson declares that the Father is the forgotten member of the Trinity.

                                                               i.      Jesus we know because Evangelicals emphasize Him and He lived among us.

                                                             ii.      The Holy Spirit we know in some measure because He dwells with us. He is emphasized by the charismatic movement.

                                                            iii.      Liberals tend to emphasize the “fatherhood of God” in a universal way, so we may shy away because of that.

b.      On pgs 190 and 191 there is an interesting tidbit about Wilson’s father and Corrie ten Boom!

c.       We don’t seem to know what the Father is for, so we don’t know what fathers are for.

                                                               i.      The Father is for His own glory. The Glory of the Father is the Son. The Son was anointed with the Spirit of glory to be the Glory of the Father.

                                                             ii.      The doctrine of the Trinity makes megalomania impossible.

II.                 What the Father is Like. In this section Wilson uses some advice from his father for those who want to be good fathers, but have never seen it done.

a.       Wilson’s father councils that they go through the Gospel of John, paying attention to everything that is said about God the Father.

b.      Pages 192-196 list many of these in summary fashion.

c.       The love of the Father for the Son and the Son for the Father is evident in these passages.

III.               A Mine Full of Diamonds. In this section Wilson pulls out one of the main themes from the walk through the Gospel of John – generosity.

a.       “He is seeking worshippers who will worship Him in Spirit and in truth – in short, who will become like His is. And what is He like? He is generous with everything.”

b.      We are to image Christ. The way to do that is clearly to be open-handed.

                                                               i.      Fathers are open handed in provision and in protection.

                                                             ii.      This is done with hands. The Father did so by giving and the Son did so with nails.

Chapter 15: It Starts with You

I.                    Everyone should take a spiritual inventory

a.       Don’t despair, don’t boast

b.      It is expected that this material should be both encouraging and overwhelming.

c.       “God takes us from where we are, not from where we should have been.”

d.      “It is not too late for you to be the first in a long line of faithful fathers.”

II.                 “The task in its fullness, is to bring up kids so that they love the standard.”

a.       The point is to re-establish authority, not just reassert it.

b.      A simple reasserting of authority is an attempt to evade responsibility.

III.               Three levels

a.       Fathers have abdicated responsibility on paper and in practice.

b.      Fathers reclaim authority on paper.

                                                               i.      Telling everyone you have authority is not taking it up.

c.       The third level is realizing that authority needs to be re-established.

IV.              No Boiling a kid in his mother’s milk

a.       This goes back to loving the standard.

b.      A father’s authority is for life, not death.

c.       It is an authority of sacrifice on behalf of another, not a claim to tribute.

V.                 A father should not want bare conformity; he wants the child’s heart.

a.       Teaching a child to love the standard begins with a father making a vertical transaction with God.

b.      He needs to take this responsibility before God first.

c.       The example of Job 1:5 is a good one, commended by God.

d.      This can be done without anyone else knowing about it. “A father should be a father in the presence of God first.”

e.       Being comes before doing.

f.        Saints work hard, but don’t trust in works.

VI.              “We don’t earn the salvation of our kids..”

a.       “One of the great tasks of our sanctification is to seek God’s aid in finding that works-generator in the basement of our hearts and disconnect the damned thing.”

b.      The secret is real grace, and not just grace-talk.

c.       Wilson uses the example of alm-giving from Matthew 6:1-4 to show how we should not seek praise from any men, even ourselves.